A Message to a Mom

Walking the play ground I hear parents whisper to each other or their children, “well that was awkward”, “I bet she’s embarrassed” “can you believe that kid?”.  I look ahead to where they were walking from.  A mom, struggling with her son. It very easily could have been me, a few days earlier. I smiled at her, tried to communicate with my eyes that I’d been there, I was sorry, you are not alone. But the fierceness in her eyes told me otherwise, maybe she thought I was judging her too.

Stubborn. Defiant. Trouble. Spoiled. Brat. Pain in the ass. All words that we may have used or thought when looking at this scene or one like it. Just because it didn’t come out of your mouth, doesn’t mean you’re off the hook here.

“I wouldn’t let MY kid do that.”  :Oh my gosh…why can’t she control her kid?” “She needs parenting classes.” “If my kid ever said that to me, xyz.”  Judgements that do more than judge. They pierce the soul.  They breakdown. They cause defeat, destruction to a mother or father who has said more of that to themselves at this point. They don’t need any more discouragement, they feed on it daily. it is what they are used to.

She was desperate.  At her wits end.  I don’t know who she was.  But I want to say one thing, you are not alone.  There are others out there who struggle as you are.  Our hearts ache too, desperate for understanding and change. For the road to somehow even out because when you woke up, you felt like today could be a good day and for having those hopes dashed. I judge you too but in a different way.

Hey Mom, Yes you, the one holding on by your fingernails. You are strong, you are doing a great job.  Hang in there, there is hope, grasp hard to it. Ask for help, talk about it. Don’t hide, you do not need to be ashamed. You are mom and you are good enough, you fight because you love him. You persevere because you love him.  You’re winning. Keep going. Don’t give up.  You’ve got this.