Decisions Change Your Life

01 Dec 2009 3 Comments

by mands in Life Stuff

Back in August we took Abby to see a specialist, we waited years (literally) for this appointment.  It went alright, however Steve and I were offered some choices for Abby that we weren’t necessarily ready for.  Their recommendation was that Abby go into residential treatment for a medication review and a behavioural assessment.  While it was difficult, we knew as soon as it was offered this was the best thing for Abby.  Her medication is pretty strong with some dangerous long term side effects.  It wouldn’t be safe for her or the others in our home to take her off the medication here, seeing as the meds are used to control aggression.  We agreed for her to go thinking it would be far off in the future seeing as it took us years to get this appointment. 

Fast forward to the end of November, we got THE call.  I wasn’t prepared, is a mother ever prepared?  The woman on the other end of the phone started telling me the normal protocol for this situation: she normally comes out to the house, meets Abby and asks us a bunch of questions.  Questions we’ve been asked so many times I can answer them in my sleep.  Months later Abby meets with the psychiatrist and we answer those  same questions yet again.  And another month after that, Abby goes into treatment.  That is what normally happens, not this time though.  She proceeds to tell me that our appointment with the doctor is the following week and her admission date is December the 8th.  HUH???  My brain stopped for a few moments….I absently jotted down the information about the time of our appointment with the doctor, then hung up the phone, I’m not even sure I said goodbye. 

Our appointment with the psychiatrist went great.  Abby was in a fairly good mood and at ease with the doctor. We were in a board room, and the swivel chairs kept her occupied for a good portion of the appointment.  They giggled when Abby did, genuinely giggled not the polite kind of giggle when someone who doesn’t get disabilities nervously laughs at something your child did.  The doctor seemed knowledgeable, was frank with us (something that we have come to appreciate) and we shook hands and walked out, having agreed to send our daughter, our beautiful 7 year old daughter for residential treatment for 6-12 weeks with a good possibility of it being longer even than that.

Since that appointment, my head is reeling.  I knew it would, how else can one respond?  I tell you all this mostly to ask for prayer.  For Abby especially, that she will be safe, settle quickly, feel loved.  My heart aches for her, how she will feel her first night away from home in 3 years, without the comfort of her parents nearby.  Pray that she will tolerate long hours in the car driving back and forth on weekends to come home (it is a 3.5 hour drive one way, in good weather).

I’m also going to be selfish and ask for prayers for Steve and I, especially on December 8 but also for these next few months.  Pray for the other kids, as they try to understand why Abby isn’t home, and for wisdom for us as we try to explain to them why she isn’t here.  I would ask for understanding and grace because I may not seem friendly at times, please realize this is trying, both for my emotional and my spiritual state.  I’m not ok, I know this is what Abby needs, so I’m doing it for her.  I’m thankful for Steve that he’s by my side, and I know that we will get through this time together and as a family.   

This was the easiest way for me to let you all know why I’ve seemed a little melancholy and absent lately.  I hope you will be patient with us as we go through a very difficult time in our life.

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