closing the decade
31 Dec 2009 Leave a Comment
in Life Stuff
Wow, 2010 is just hours away…thinking back over the last 1o years, I can’t believe all that has happened.
- 2000 Steve and I were married. We felt the loss of our first child through miscarriage, a heartbreaking moment that surprisingly brought us closer together. I believe it was in that event that we were strengthened for what our life together would bring, and subsequently what this last decade looked like.
- 2001, Logan was born, a beautiful little baby with blonde hair and blue eyes. We moved to a new church, in Hamilton. Steve finished off another degree.
- 2002, there was my car accident that I never should have survived, while 7 months pregnant. The scary moments of hearing that Abby had cysts on her brain, and feeling the relief of hearing that they were resolving on their own. September we saw our beautiful daughter brown eyed girl enter the world.
- 2003 brought the reality of autism into our life. with Logan’s diagnosis. We moved to another church again, this time in Meaford. It also brought questions about Abby’s development.
- 2004 autism was again brought into our life, this time in our daughter. Just a few months later we lost Steve’s father. A difficult season if our lives to say the least. We questioned many things, but saw God’s hand on our lives so rested in that knowledge, sometimes clinging to it with all our might.
- 2005, we celebrated our fifth anniversary by moving into our first home. Steve was again in school.
- 2006 we welcomed Justus into our home…filled with mixed feelings. We started off as foster parents, but quickly saw that he needed a more permanent home. So we were named his legal guardians. Steve had his first book published.
- 2007 An awesome honeymoon on a cruise through the Mediterranean. It brought another degree for Steve, graduating the same day we agreed to take Emma into our home. We also welcomed our first service dog Milo into our lives.
- 2008 another child, only this time much more complicated than the others, but in July we got the call that we would be legal guardians of Faith and she would be arriving that next week. We also saw Milo leave our home, he just wasn’t suitable as a service dog. Great as a pet, but not to the standards of a service dog.
- 2009 I wrote my GED, passing in the top 10%. In April we lost Steve’s mom to cancer. I was accepted into university and began my studies in July. Steve was accepted into a doctoral program. Halo arrived in our home, an answer to prayer and the best thing that ever happened to Logan. Abby went into short term residential treatment.
So much to go through in just 10 short years and yet here we are, stronger than ever. A home full of love, a church family who are welcoming of our crazy antics, and 10 years full of God’s blessings and provision. I pray that the next 10 years will be a little calmer in our life, but it seems that craziness follows us around, so I pray that God would bestow on us all that we need in order to navigate the roads of our lives.
I pray that God would bless you all in 2010. Here’s to the start of another decade.
Night Before Christmas-Autism style
18 Dec 2009 1 Comment
in Life Stuff
A friend of mine posted this to her facebook page and I thought it was worth sharing. For all of you who have autism in your life, you’ll likely get a chuckle…for those of you who don’t…we’ll here’s a peek into our life!
Autism Night Before Christmas
by Cindy Waeltermann
Twas the Night Before Christmas
And all through the house
The creatures were stirring
Yes, even the mouse
We tried melatonin
And gave a hot bath
But the holiday jitters
They always distract
The children were finally
All nestled in bed
When nightmares of terror
Ran through my OWN head
Did I get the right gift
The right color
And style
Would there be a tantrum
Or even, maybe, a smile?
Our relatives come
But they don’t understand
The pleasure he gets
Just from flapping his hands.
“He needs discipline,” they say
“Just a well-needed smack,
You must learn to parent…”
And on goes the attack
We smile and nod
Because we know deep inside
The argument is moot
Let them all take a side
We know what it’s like
To live with the spectrum
The struggles and triumphs
Achievements, regressions…
But what they don’t know
And what they don’t see
Is the joy that we feel
Over simplicity
He said “hello”
He ate something green!
He told his first lie!
He did not cause a scene!
He peed on the potty
Who cares if he’s ten,
He stopped saying the same thing
Again and again!
Others don’t realize
Just how we can cope
How we bravely hang on
At the end of our rope
But what they don’t see
Is the joy we can’t hide
When our children with autism
Make the tiniest stride
We may look at others
Without the problems we face
With jealousy, hatred
Or even distaste,
But what they don’t know
Nor sometimes do we
Is that children with autism
Bring simplicity.
We don’t get excited
Over expensive things
We jump for joy
With the progress work brings
Children with autism
Try hard every day
That they make us proud
More than words can say.
They work even harder
Than you or I
To achieve something small
To reach a star in the sky
So to those who don’t get it
Or can’t get a clue
Take a walk in my shoes
And I’ll assure you
That even 10 minutes
Into the walk
You’ll look at me
With respect, even shock.
You will realize
What it is I go through
And the next time you judge
I can assure you
That you won’t say a thing
You’ll be quiet and learn,
Like the years that I did
When the tables were turned…….
My Girl
16 Dec 2009 Leave a Comment
in Life Stuff
Just a quick update to let you know that Abby is doing well. It’s been a difficult week for our family, with lots of questions from our three year old Justus. It’s difficult to find the words to explain to him that Abby is “at the doctors” and that she doesn’t have an “ouchie”, because logically you go to the doctor when you have an “ouchie”. We sure backed ourselves into a corner with that explanation. Logan is struggling a bit as well, it’s more challenging to really know how much he misses Abby because he can’t ask for her. He certainly demonstrates that he is missing her, playing with the toys she normally does and in the spots that she’d play with them. Emma keeps asking to talk to Abby on the phone. Needless to say, there’s a spot in our family home that is very obviously empty. We’re looking forward to the weekend because we’re traveling down to London to visit her, so please pray that the snow stays away and we’d be safe as we travel the 3.5 hours to get there.
I pray that you have a wonderfully blessed Christmas with your families. Our hope is to bring Abby home for Christmas and Boxing Day, so please pray her good mood continues and that the weather would hold out for us yet again for travelling!
Decisions Change Your Life
01 Dec 2009 3 Comments
in Life Stuff
Back in August we took Abby to see a specialist, we waited years (literally) for this appointment. It went alright, however Steve and I were offered some choices for Abby that we weren’t necessarily ready for. Their recommendation was that Abby go into residential treatment for a medication review and a behavioural assessment. While it was difficult, we knew as soon as it was offered this was the best thing for Abby. Her medication is pretty strong with some dangerous long term side effects. It wouldn’t be safe for her or the others in our home to take her off the medication here, seeing as the meds are used to control aggression. We agreed for her to go thinking it would be far off in the future seeing as it took us years to get this appointment.
Fast forward to the end of November, we got THE call. I wasn’t prepared, is a mother ever prepared? The woman on the other end of the phone started telling me the normal protocol for this situation: she normally comes out to the house, meets Abby and asks us a bunch of questions. Questions we’ve been asked so many times I can answer them in my sleep. Months later Abby meets with the psychiatrist and we answer those same questions yet again. And another month after that, Abby goes into treatment. That is what normally happens, not this time though. She proceeds to tell me that our appointment with the doctor is the following week and her admission date is December the 8th. HUH??? My brain stopped for a few moments….I absently jotted down the information about the time of our appointment with the doctor, then hung up the phone, I’m not even sure I said goodbye.
Our appointment with the psychiatrist went great. Abby was in a fairly good mood and at ease with the doctor. We were in a board room, and the swivel chairs kept her occupied for a good portion of the appointment. They giggled when Abby did, genuinely giggled not the polite kind of giggle when someone who doesn’t get disabilities nervously laughs at something your child did. The doctor seemed knowledgeable, was frank with us (something that we have come to appreciate) and we shook hands and walked out, having agreed to send our daughter, our beautiful 7 year old daughter for residential treatment for 6-12 weeks with a good possibility of it being longer even than that.
Since that appointment, my head is reeling. I knew it would, how else can one respond? I tell you all this mostly to ask for prayer. For Abby especially, that she will be safe, settle quickly, feel loved. My heart aches for her, how she will feel her first night away from home in 3 years, without the comfort of her parents nearby. Pray that she will tolerate long hours in the car driving back and forth on weekends to come home (it is a 3.5 hour drive one way, in good weather).
I’m also going to be selfish and ask for prayers for Steve and I, especially on December 8 but also for these next few months. Pray for the other kids, as they try to understand why Abby isn’t home, and for wisdom for us as we try to explain to them why she isn’t here. I would ask for understanding and grace because I may not seem friendly at times, please realize this is trying, both for my emotional and my spiritual state. I’m not ok, I know this is what Abby needs, so I’m doing it for her. I’m thankful for Steve that he’s by my side, and I know that we will get through this time together and as a family.
This was the easiest way for me to let you all know why I’ve seemed a little melancholy and absent lately. I hope you will be patient with us as we go through a very difficult time in our life.
