hi, i’m amanda and i’m depressed.
depression is real, and it’s a struggle i face from day to day. there have been seasons in my life that it rears it’s ugly head more and other less but for the last year or so, it’s had a real stronghold on my life. i have been cycling through taking meds, thinking i’m fine and going off them, only to get more messed up in the end. it is a vicious cycle.
i’m going to give a huge shout out to steve, he has more patience than i think he realizes. i appreciate having a person like him by my side to ask me the tough questions, and to be honest with me when i ask the tough questions. we have journeyed through this together, and i am thankful for that because I realize what a sacrifice that can be for a caregiver of someone who suffers from depression. it would be much easier to just give up, but he perserveres to find me.
my doctor is convinced that my depression is bio-chemically induced. my life could be easy, with no stress and i’d still have these issues and i agree with her. i will likely have to be on meds the rest of my life, but for now, i need to make sure to continue to take my meds for the next 12 months. she thinks it could cure me, but it’s not guaranteed.
there is so much stigma surrounding depression and christianity. somehow i’m less of a christian because it’s something i struggle with, that i’m not trusting god enough. but where do you draw the line, would you refuse insulin if you were diabetic? or if your foot was broken, would you fore-go a cast? no. but for some reason depression is different.
well, i am a depressed christian, who will be relying on science and the medical professionals to help me. but i’m also a depressed christian who will be relying on god for strength, mercy and grace to get me through my days. I intend to bring my faith in god and doctor together, trusting that the three of us together will get this worked out.
for those of you who suffer with depression, you’re not alone and there is no reason to be ashamed. for those of you who stand along side of someone who suffers, thank you.
